Once more, some ramblings about stuff. I hope I don’t offend anyone. I don’t think all guys are creeps at all. I’m just trying to explain how some comments makes me feel.
I tend to avoid getting into discussions about cosplay and how your body looks, because it’s a really hot topic that people are very passionate about. I’m all about cosplay acceptance – I think people should cosplay whoever and whatever they want! I’m blessed to not have received any negative comments about my looks in cosplay – I have not been called fat or ugly, and I am really thankful for that, and really angry that some people feel like they need to put someone else down like that – if you have nothing positive to say, just say nothing.
Anyways, this post is about the positive comments – kind of.
I do some cosplays that are probably in the “sexy” category, but I never choose a cosplay for the sexy-factor. I usually don’t even consider it until after I’ve chosen. My choice is usually a combination of character likeability, difficulty/challenges and colours. And also that I like characters from WoW, but I don’t like full body armor, because it’s painful and hot to wear.
Anyways, back to the whole body topic. Valeera has a lot of sex appeal. While I don’t feel very naked in the cosplay, because I have a cloak covering my backside and hair covering my cleavage, I am aware that a lot of people consider it a very daring cosplay. I also feel a rise in messages whenever I post pictures of Valeera. Most of them are positive, and I really enjoy those! But I do get the odd, inappropriate messages, and I really don’t know how to respond.
I tend to consider myself an ugly duckling. I was bullied in school – probably not as bad as many, but enough to still feel the aftermath. I started out as a gangly kid with glasses and a really bad taste in clothes. I had a really short temper and was REALLY fun to annoy, apparently. Later in life, I went to a private school, learned that it was indeed possible to be a student and not be bullied. I also managed to correct my eye sight by stubbornly not wearing my glasses and squinting until my eyes got the point. I hated sports, so when I finished high school, I had a pudgy look about me. I was never fat, just – well, pudgy. At least that was what I saw when I looked in the mirror. After moving away from home and starting college, I started being interested in sports and nutrition and nowadays, I feel pretty good about myself. To outsiders, I probably haven’t changed a lot, but on the inside, I feel a lot more confident about myself. The thing about ugly ducklings is that they often spend all their time in libraries and (in my case) emerged in HTML and CSS, and they never really went to parties and learned how the whole dating game works. I was lucky and didn’t need to kiss a lot of frogs before I found the right one. And he was my best friend, too, before he became my boyfriend.
The point to this whole rambling is; I don’t know how to deal with compliments. I have a hard time telling apart guys who are hitting on me and guys who just want to chat. And I have no clue how to turn down someone without being rude. I’m super clumsy like that. I also get uncomfortable with too many compliments that are focused on my body and not my costumes. I’m really flattered, but I also can’t help feel like I am being treated like an object and not a person. If someone comments that I look sexy and I have a good body, I have a split feeling of feeling happy that someone noticed, because I work hard on it, and uncomfortable, because I spent hundreds of hours crafting something and with the compliments, feel that I could’ve just thrown on cat ears and a bikini and would’ve gotten the same compliments. It’s a fine line that is hard for anyone to balance on – the line between a nice compliment and a compliment that makes the cosplayer feel like an object instead of a person.
I think the advise I can give is: Do comment on how nice a person looks, but if you’re not trying to get in her pants, don’t overdo it (meaning, don’t say daily to a girl that she looks sexy or hot) and don’t focus on specific body parts (like: Your thighs look really good in that picture), ’cause that’s just creepy. Do also comment on the outfit – if it’s a cosplayer, chances are the person spent many, many hours, days and months on creating it, and would really appreciate to be complimented on the hard work.
Some people will probably give me shit for this post. Who am I to tell others what to say, and how am I so self-centered bla bla bla. I’m just saying this, because I can come off rude when I try to tell guys that I’m not interested in more than a friendly chat. I’m hoping this will help some of those guys who just want to be friendly, but don’t know what to say. I’m sure there’s guy versions of me who have no idea how to talk to girls (just like I suck at talking to guys!).
Anyways, rambling done! Please proceed!